…it’s just severely injured.
I have had conversations with my guy friends on this topic, and one of them asked if women notice or appreciate chivalry. Now, I can’t speak for the rest of my sister-kind, but I can say wholeheartedly that I do indeed notice, and appreciate, acts of chivalry. I notice it from random strangers, friends, and of COURSE, men that I date. I also duly note the lack thereof from the latter category. I am disinclined to say that I judge on this, but the fact of the matter is that I do, at least to some degree. I am not going to write a guy off because he didn’t open a car door for me once in a while, but it does not go unnoticed. And to note, I try to always say thank you. Polite deserves polite. It’s not like I’m going to stand at a closed door, and give stink-eye until it’s opened for me. My arms aren’t broken, I can open a door. However, if chivalry steps in and you open the door for me, I will notice. I have opened many a door for people, and personally, it’s gratifying for me when I get a smile out of it. It makes me feel great to do something nice just because.
It wasnt’ until the mid to later half of my 20’s when I was dating somebody who was extremely chivalrous, and I really got to liking being treated that way. Feminists at ease – put down the bra and lighter. I am not out to turn back the clock on women’s rights or anything here, but dammit I like it when somebody thinks to open a door for me, or gestures their hand to let me walk out of the elevator first. So sue me, I think it’s nice to be treated like a lady, even if I don’t always act like one.
I have also been in the opposite situation when dating somebody, where never is there a door opened, or the hand is out in “you first” style. I have also on occasion encountered not only a serious lack of chivalry, but consideration, and have said to myself “seriously?”. Now, this is not to say this person may not be courteous in other ways, or isn’t a nice person. Maybe they weren’t taught that skill. Or maybe it really is that they don’t give a shit. I guess that’s a call that has to be determined in the course of getting to know somebody. Maybe if you mentioned to them that you like that, then perhaps a shift will occur. Or perhaps not. Who knows. Personally, I tend to link chivalry with a general consideration of other people and the space around you.
But it also stands to reason, that if a guy goes out of his way with even as small a gesture as opening a door that it’s more likely that I will make a point to do something thoughtful in return to show my appreciation (get ‘yer minds out of the gutter). And then guess what!? We may just develop mutual kindness and respect! Imagine that.
But at the end of the day, it really shows that it doesn’t always take a grand gesture to show you care. After all, it’s the little things that make up the bulk of life anyway, why not put effort there too? I’m just sayin…