Ok, I’m gonna get deep here today, I hope you are ok with that and can come along with me.
I was reading an article online about generosity and it made me think how some people may consider themselves generous individuals, when in reality, that’s not entirely that case at all. In some instances what they think is them being giving, is actually Conditional Generosity, and they are two completely separate situations. The irony is that Conditional Generosity is totally self-serving. It’s giving with the explicit expectation to get something back. I’m not talking about giving to charity here, as I happily claim a charitable tax receipt for my donations. No, I’m talking about person to person generosity, and it’s relation to how individuals may mistakenly perceive themselves as totally selfless.
Some would loudly toot their own horns at how selfless they are in their giving (the act of which diminishes the very idea of generosity, by the way), whether it’s the gift of their time, or of material items. But if they stopped to look at it from a different angle, if they’re reaching one hand out to you in giving, while holding out the other expecting reciprocity as a reward, then it really can’t be claimed as generosity. What they may perceive as being altruistic actually translates to them actually being selfish, and it is such a fine line that’s drawn with the reasons behind their “generosity”.
There are also those who fall into this category who are quick to judge those who don’t immediately reciprocate, or don’t reciprocate to their liking, and write them off as selfish. Here is where it’s the double edge sword. Are you giving because you truly feel good about giving or is it to get something in return? If it’s the latter, then you can put yourself in the selfish category too.
Don’t get me wrong, everybody wants to be recognized and appreciated but when your main drive for your generosity is recognition then you have to first ask yourself why, and then you have to appreciate that maybe you aren’t as generous as you may think.
I would prefer to give from my heart, and not when it’s just expected of me or if it’s just going to be used as a scorecard, or a gauge for what kind of person I am.